It seemed like every day for nearly two weeks I had "one of those days" where everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Not anything big. Just lots of little things so that by the end of the day (ok maybe by 1:00) I found myself exhausted, frustrated, and sighing way too much. I'm not going to lie, I let myself get annoyed/frustrated with Kara way more than I should've. I didn't want to feel that way. I wanted to be happy and filled with the love of Christ like you should be around Christmas.
In many ways I did feel that way, especially when I would talk to Kara about why we celebrate Christmas (I definitely teared up on more than one occasion while talking to her about Jesus). I also felt the spirit of the season when I was listening to Christmas songs about baby Jesus, in particular (I couldn't help but think about my sweet baby and what it would feel like to be Mary and know what was to come for her little child.)
But I just couldn't help but feel the "stress of the holidays." Maybe I was stressed out because I knew I'd have to lug two kids around with me anywhere I went. I don't know. I guess I'm still acclimatizimg to being a mom of two and dealing with the new levels of stress that come with that. It could also be the fact that my birthday kind of got swollowed up in the busy-ness of the holidays. I had more to say about this but then I realized it sounded rather petty. I can't complain about not getting much recognition on "my" day when I think about how blessed I really am. After all, Christ often didn't get the recognition He deserved so who am I to complain?
So, despite feeling stressed out for the first part of December, when it came down to it, we had a lovely Christmas. Kara loved opening her presents and couldn't remind me enough about leaving cookies out for Santa. And now that I've thought about it we did do some fun things. We went to the lights at Thanksgiving Point (the car in front if us paid for our ticket. It was so nice! I've never had someone do that for me before so we decided to pay for the car behind us), visited the dinosaur museum multiple times, rode the carriage at Farm Land, made Christmas cookies, visited Santa (with no line and no tears and little hesitation!), and played in the snow plenty of times (I guess the snow wasn't all that bad).
What I should have done each day I was stressed was decide to let my schedule be more flexible and think more about my Savior. He didn't have an easy, stress-free life. He was scoffed and scorned at. Yet, all he did was love and serve those around him.
I shouldn't have let the comercialization of Christmas get to me. And maybe part of my frustration was that I was trying to not let it get to me but it still did. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess. Despite the stress I felt I still tried to remember how richly blessed I am, which is the important thing, right?
I am blessed with good health, a loving husband, two beautiful and wonderful girls, a lovely home with great neighbors, supportive family, and an income that allows my family to have a Christmas, which is more than many people have.
I am blessed because I know there is a God, that I am His daughter, and that He loves me. I am blessed because I know that Christ lives and because He loves me He died for me, which means I can be forgiven of all my sins.
I know I let myself get distracted from the true meaning of Christmas at times, but I am grateful for the time I did spend focusing on Christ and his mission here on earth. I hope I can spend more time in the coming year focusing on creating a Christ-centered life.
Two of my greatest blessings:
God bless :)
